Saturday’s Esbat went splendidly! It was our first coven meeting in the new temple room, and the atmosphere was very much different than in the living room with the mundane objects about. It was more focused, and I could wander more freely around the area during the discussion. (former Wolfsong members who read my LJ, the old haunt is back in business!) What a nice change. This Esbat’s topic was the masks of the Divine, and I shared my inner initiatory experience that really grounded my spiritual journey. We went longer than usual on the evening, including our social feast afterwards. Boni said that it was my most successful “priestess in training” evening yet. Woo-Hoo! I believe that this 6-month stint overall is much better than last year’s. I’m overcoming my biggest barrier, that of coming out of Boni’s shadow. I’m taking his discussion input less as “just let Boni take over and/or carry you because he speaks so knowledgeably and well about so many things,” to “Boni’s input is just like any other coven member, he just has more information due to experience.” It’s becoming less and less that I feel like I’m in the East due merely to the Wheel rotation, and more and more like I’m really in charge of the evening; I am becoming priestess in self and in role rather than just “phoning it in” and letting him take most of the lead. It’s easier now to take back the discussion when he’s done with his input on a topic. My thoughts on this? Leading the Witches’ Meetup has really helped; when a question comes up, it’s all in my court. Boni’s not there to fall back on. It’s brought my self-confidence level up as to my own abilities, and enabled me to hold my own even when he’s there. One of the things Boni has always told coven members and initiates; “I am your devil. I am the obstacle you have to overcome.” How very true that is. Also, my discussions on-line have helped me hone my own knowledge base, so I don’t feel like so much of an ignorant maroon. And so….. it feels good to have a larger success under my belt. Very good indeed. crossposted to wiccanwitchesTags: lycian wicca, priestess
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